Senate Says Yes To Pets & No to Death Tax Reform

Well at least they got the important stuff right, Right?? In a bold move Friday before the Congress went on summer breaks the Senate unanimously approved a measure that would provide for household and other pets in the event of a diaster. They were however not quite so bold when it came to an initiative raising the minimum wage and reforming the %55 death tax law. Our roving reporter caught up with Cal Worthington's Dog Spot to get a comment on the days events...

Uncle Tim's: So Spot, what is your take on the federal government's newfound care for pets in time of disaster?

SPOT: Oh, that's what they call it now Tim, but wait until we actualy need it. It's just a tool of the fascist Bush regime to aid them in rounding us all up and dumping us in Abu-Ghrab. Animal Rights and Peace!!! Bush Lied, Hamsters died!! Keep you laws off my paws!!

Uncle Tim's: Thank You Spot, frisky little guy eh?

SPOT: Oh Yeah, and don't forget to Go See Cal you Fascist

It seems clear that there is mistrust in the animal world for any bi-partisan measure approved by the senate. In Light of that we thought we'd ask a senators dog for comment...

We caught up with Senator Charles Rangel's beagle just as they were leaving for his bungalow retreat in the lower apalachias, let's listen in shall we?

Uncle Tim's: So Mr. Bangle Beagle, what would it have taken to get the death tax/minimum wage bill voted on today?

Bangle Beagle: "Clearly, African-Americans and other African and Afro-descendant populations would see the uplifting of a black cartoon character, with monkey-like lips and head and a childish demeanor, as an attempt to malign them."

Uncle Tim's: Riiiggghhhtt, but what do you feel are the remaining issues to getting a bill like this passed in the senate come the fall congress?

Bangle: "Caribbean music, such as soca, calypso, reggae, and now reggaeton, is having a profound impact on U.S. popular culture."

Uncle Tim's: Alrighty then, well how about the new measure enacted to protect pets in the event of disaster? What do you think this will really do for the animal community?

Bangle: "In this global day and age, the Mexican authorities should have been aware of the negative international impact of this characterization of the Negro race in grotesque imagery associated with the vilest forms of racism."

Uncle Tim's: Well... Okee Dokee then Bangle. Thank you for your time... Good Boy

Bangle: Grrrrrr... "We don't windsurf in Harlem."

Well there you have it folks, important legislating ( and butt sniffing) going on in our capitol city today as Congress takes yet another vacation... In leiu of actual progress we have congress. You might even say our Government has gone to the dogs!!

Have a Great Weekend Everyone!!